O Joyful, Joyful Stupignorancy

Combing the NYTimes and BBC as part of my daily ritual of doing as little actual work as possible before noon (this is one of the five Esoteric Tenets of Producing, the remainder of which I'll endeavour to sketch for you in successive posts), I came across not one, not two, but four blog-worthy fuck-ups from around the world:

1.

Two-time Italian Pime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, on reason why foreigners should invest in Italy: "Aside from the good weather, we have beautiful businesswomen and also beautiful secretaries."

Mr. Berlusconi can now been seen from space, he's so fierily blazing with embarrassment. His wife just published an editorial in one of Italy's biggest papers asking him for a public apology for publicly flirting with so many women. Berlusconi apologized, publicly. Critics wonder why Hillary never asked Bill for a public apology. The public wonders why Berlusconi, the richest man in Italy, isn't smart enough to flirt privately.

2.

An Arizona 12-year-old named Casey Price was just arrested... for actually being a 29-year-old convicted sex offender. Apparently, he was "quiet," so no one noticed, you know, the lack of interest in Spongebob, the raunchy stubble... or the boy-touching.

3.

Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden of Delaware announced his bid... right after he said Barak Obama is: “The first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.”

Wow. I wouldn't have the heart to announce my next trip to the shitter after that, but this guy's asking people to vote him into the Oval Office. That's not kablamo.

4.

Finally, and best of all, the city of Boston is suing Ted Turner over Aqua Teen Hunger Force ads that use harmless magnetic lights to, well, light up Err and Ignignot as they flip off passing motorists. But no one's mad about the Mooninites' vulgar hand motion; Boston's mayoral office is mad because they mistook the remarkably cartoonish and non-terrorizing ads for terrorist "devices," a vague term that leads me to think more of my boss' broken Powerbook than of dirty bombs.