My Wife Played GH2 With A Legendary Guardian

In what was the smelliest and best-attended Williamsburg nerd-down in recent memory, the Funde Razor 2006 rocked the shit out of Barcade Wednesday night. They raised $2350 to help little kids in hospitals all over the world play video games.

We showed up at about 7:45, with the event scheduled to start at 8, and the place was already packed like it was 11pm on a Saturday. By 8:30, the entire bar smelled like some unwashed nerd's couch cushion after a 36-hour gaming marathon.

The local fire department has a sign posted that it is unlawful and dangerous for the bar to contain more than 75 drunk nerds at a time, but according to the Funde Razor blog, representatives from the bar estimated between 250-300 of the roly-poly rockers.

With all the bodies and no discernible line for players to wait in, people rudely grabbed guitars at the end of songs or didn't get to play. Except for those with special equipment. My wife Karen totally 'girled' her way in for a round and played Search and Destroy with Legendary Guardian Auron, who made a surprise visit to Earth. And a greedy rocker he was, too. In a bar so packed with GH enthusiasts that it took twenty minutes just to get a goddamn beer, Auron played at least twice.

For shame, Auron.

I never got my hands on one but didn't mind. By the time I was close enough to grab the neck of a guitar, they were so warm and wet from palm sweat they made the subway pole on rush hour look sanitary.