Bar Challenge

Shanna Nash actually came up with this last night, and, like all good crafters of koan, had no answer herself, or no answer more comprehensive than "well, Anytime has really great food and $1 PBR."

The Challenge: As briefly as possible, name the Five Best Bars in Brooklyn &/or Manhattan and explain why (and tell where). I'm not qualified to answer this Challenge mydamnself, owing to my technically being a Recently Relocated Southern Gentleperson, but I'd like to hear/read your responses.

(You get bonus points if you record or videotape yourself drinking at these bars, assuming you edit out most of the "glub-glubbing" sounds of drinking and the idiotic murmurs of the drunken Czech partiers beside you, the ones who keep inviting you to "cool room" where they want to do "dance thing" with your breasts. You don't even have breasts. What the fuck is going on here? Why did you come to this bar in the first place? Oh, I know: Should've checked the Challenge.)