That's Plenty

They finally arrived! They came with two yellow wheels, two plastic bits to stick in the wheel holes when you don't feel like having wheels on your heels, and a tiny crowbar type thing to pry off the wheels or the stoppers.

Here's what the wheel looks like:

The first thing I noticed was that the sneakers look sort of hiphop. They're really fat and big. The second thing I noticed was that IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO WALK. I mean, there's wheels on your heels. And most people walk heel toe, including me. So when your first contact with the ground is on a wheel, you basically slip, banana peel style. The only way to walk is slowly, carefully, and toe heel,

as demonstrated here:

It's hard to remember to walk this way, and I do keep slipping a lot. I don't know how come when I see kids wearing them, they seem to walk normal. How are they doing it??

On to the skating. It's fucking wonderful. It was hard at first. Hard to balance on the little wheels, and hard to lift both toes at the same time in stride with walking. I fell a lot, and flashed my undypants at curious onlookers

as seen here:

But after only a few moments of practice, I got it. And I liked it. It's addictive, I'm wheeling everywhere. Back and forth in the elevator, in the hallway, around my desk, outside. It couldn't be more fun. The world is my roller rink

illustrated here:

Feel free to observe the shit-eating grin on my face in these pictures. Better than this review, it should indicate what Heelys are like. Thank you to all who posted comments saying I should get them. I wasn't sure, but you convinced me. You guys know what's up.

(photography and art direction by Stephen Franco, clothing by Buffalo Exchange, watch by Casio, socks and sunglasses by H&M, hair and makeup by Michelle Enemark)