Speed Bumps are my Allies / Still Scared of Girls

Picked up the moped this morning, with the help of Charlie. Even picking it up was pretty cool. The couple I bought it from are a couple of college kids and total grease monkies (and I mean that in a flattering, mechanic-sex, sort of way) who helped drain the engine and talked shop with Charlie for a while, as I stood silent with a shit eat grin. We also all ignored the man in the wheelchair who was trying to buy imaginary marijuanna from us. They even took photos of it before we took the handlebars down to fit it in the car. My bike was a restored Murray 1980, which was made by Puch for Murray. He had gotten it as 50$ junker and fixed it up for his cousin who is a fireman, but decided he can't be a moped enthuisist anymore. He had a siren horn, a place for a fire extinguisher, a small ladder and authentic fire hose and appropritate decals. They were a bit upset that I am not an active fire fighter, though I was quick to note that I did support fire (just not in my nieghborhood. Property values and all)
Next stop was Myron's Mopeds where Charlie talked more shop, I got to see nice musuem of mopeds, get an abbreviated history of Puch, which has a very regal logo. I got a helmut, some DMV paperwork and some other doodads, and we headed back to Camp Serrano in Ktown.
Charlie let me syphon some of his mixed oil and we took off, or vroom-putt-putt'd, to the gas station (3 blocks) so I could fill 'er up. I got that high octane shit for my red baby. .73 gallons, 2 buck. Should last me at least 60 miles. Then he hit the more or less open road, wih my strong opine to take Frost's advice and moped the path less taken.
Have I mentioned that while I had had a moped in CT, in CT we had to ride in bike lanes. Here it's the street. My acceleration is poor and I have to pedal a bit to get it going. Have I mentioned I haven't been on a bike in a solid decade? It's not like just riding a bike. So we cruised the less popular streets of Koreatown and Hancock Park. Charlie's Puch has a pipe and a kit. Think of your moped as a JRPG character, and those things being really good equips that give your bike +5 MPH and acceleration, even better gas mileage. 28mph vs 35mph becomes apparent very quickly, even on short blocks.
We hauled ass to Charlie's girlfriends apartment and then took off to a bike shop when I realized my bike didn't have a mirror. Oops. We ended up taking a road with lots of speed bumps taht don't really slow us down, but makes cars crawl. It was a short stretch of Oppositeville. We made it to the bike shop unscathed, which sat very close to a tantalizing Taco Bell, which we decided to dine at. Charlie took off, while I meekishly teetered out of the alley when I was ltierally GOBSMACKED and BRAINED by an unseen force from the sidewalk. Perhaps, i though as I came crushing towards the ground, a localized earthquake had singled me out, cascading the pavement, like a wave or shitily designed suspesion bridge. Or maybe one of those localised tornados, or a really big dog. It was worst. As I regained composure, I saw the force of my fall was a Tween, bedazzled in bedazzler made Bratz shirts with pom-pom flair extruding from her handlebars like vindictive whiskers searching for prey. She had a stony look on her face, as I lay crumpled under the fiery frame of my fallen pedalable motor bike. Her friend, some sort of homespun femmonculus was laughing at me. Realizing my life was spared, I continually asked if she was ok. She just stared into my soul through my good eye, and peddled down the alley to the bike store. Probably to get a really nice basket or maybe a horn that resembles a unicorn.
Like so many men before, I picked myself up, dusted myself off and walked the moped to the TB to get a bean burrito (no onions) and look at the wounds.: Ok my knee doesn't look this bad, but it hurts like a bitch. This isn't quite so bad as when I was highsticked in girl's floor hockey in 5th grade and lost a totoh, but it ranks. I sit now, nursing my knee with a Lawson Creek Red Ale, hoping I'm up to snuff for the 80 goddamn mile trip The Late Birds, my new moped gang which ::Nneba Ehryy gur thl jub cynlrq Xvc va Anc. Qla. vf va gur tnat::. Wish me luck and PRO-TIP buy stock in Band-Aids.