That's Plenty

The tusk has 10 million nerve endings in it, and sometimes Narwhals rub tusks together experiencing a "unique sensation", scientists say. I'm pretty sure they meant to say ULTRA ORGASM! YEAAAAAH! It's called "tusking". That's quite a tooth!

Narwhals are my favorite animal. Dylan told me once that they were extinct. Let's take a moment to laugh at him--I mean with him! With him. In truth, they're not even really endagered. They are just located in the artic ocean, and there's roughly about 50,000 still. Their main predator is a polar bear. Wouldn't you just totally sell your calculator watch to see a polar bear fight a narwhal? Epic, man.

Sometimes Narhwals can have two tusks. Freaking TWO!

In Medieval times, they used to use their horns as proof that unicorns existed. Stupid Medieval times.

Of course, it's illegal to hunt Narwhals now, but there are still some tusks for sale out there, and I want one. You can find fake casts of them on ebay for like $300, but that's retarded. Any true fan would want the real thing. They cost from about $4500-$8500 at Boone Trading Company, so when you get really rich and you're like, Michelle deserves the best, you know where to look. I want the big one please, you know, for better tusking.

Oh, I almost forgot one of the best things about the Narwhal. Its name means "corpse whale" in old Norse either because it floats on it's back like a corpse, or because it's skin is a mottled grey, you know, like a disgusting old rotting corpse looks (more on this here) Narwhals totally know how to party.